I don't like phloem bundles.

                Memorial Day weekend is here and my plans are... I don't have any because I will be working. I am a little disappointed I will be missing the Salute To Veterans Airshow in Columbia. This will be the first year in the last four in which I have missed it. I'm a big aviation fan, so it's one of the major highlights of my year.
               The last few days I have been experiencing a moment of romantic weakness. I believe Spock would refer to this as Pon Farr. All I know is I my shields are down and I have been vulnerable to the charms of the females of the species this last week.
                No one in particular, the last few days I find myself looking at a lot of fingers for wedding rings. I don't mind being single though, it has it's perks. Lord knows I would rather be single any day than go through all this drama I see in so many relationships.
                I tell you though at my age their isn't a whole lot to choose from. I see a whole lot of wedding rings and a whole lot of girls who have been through the ringer and spit out into a pile with enough baggage to break even the strongest camel's back.
                Not sure why I even worry about it, as much as I've been working lately I wouldn't have very much time to spend with a girl or go on dates. Dating is way to complicated anyway, I don't really know or care for all these "dating rules". Like you can't call her for this long, or you have to kiss on the 3rd date and you can go on a bunch of dates with someone and still not be boyfriend and girlfriend. I'm just over here by myself like whatever, I'm going to do what I want. I'm going to call her when I want to, I'm going to kiss her when I feel the moment is right and I'm certainly not going to take her out to take Becky out to the movies every Friday night and make out with Jessica at the movies on Saturday because Becky and I aren't "boyfriend and girlfriend". If I'm kissing a girl, bringing her flowers, etc. To me that says "I'm interested in you", not "I'm interested in you and Becky". I guess I'm just old fashioned like that.
                  It's been a while since I've found a girl I've really been interested in and let one get her hooks into my heart. I'm pretty picky and I'm kind over that whole stage of the playing hard to get. If a girl doesn't show some interest, I'm more than likely to just walk away. Girls have themselves to blame for that, with all their talk of "creepers". No guys aren't creepers, it's just that you're a bitch!
                 It takes an incredible amount of courage to walk up to a girl and flirt with her or ask her out. And girls are all over Facebook going "OMG John  _______ is such a creeper, he gave me his number in the drive-thru!" just because the guy may not be the coolest or the best looking. Then the same girl will be like "OMG Billy _______ just carved my name into his arm with a pocket knife, sweetest thing ever!" Just because she's attracted to the guy.
                I will get that vibe from pretty girls sometimes like "what is this guy doing talking to me, I'm pretty, I am so out of his league". While I'm thinking "I just sit here and listened to the last conversation you had with your friend, you may be pretty, but I am so out of your league!"
               Pretty girls are a dime a dozen, shallow girls are a dime a few dozen. I'm always amazed how many pretty girls I see with these absolute losers, just because that is what they are attracted to. That's because you're thinking with your vagina, not with your head. Wait did I just say that? Isn't it supposed to be guys and penises? Yeah girls do it too, ALL THE TIME!
               I'm no George Clooney, I've got a few a lot of extra pounds. But pretty don't last forever and I don't care if it's the Mona Lisa, if you hang it up in your living room after a few weeks you'll walk by and hardly even notice it's there.
                But my baggage doesn't need a U-Haul, it's not even in a suitcase. It's like a carry on bag! I'm not paying an arm and two legs in child support, I don't have a psycho ex-wife/wives, I'm not buried under a mountain of debt, I don't have a drinking problem.  But on top of that I'm one of the nicest guys you'll ever meet, I'm smart, sweet, romantic, funny and a ton of fun to be around. All that and I'm still a badass, so if the zombie apocalypse ever did happen, you'd be safe in my arms. But wait there is more! (just went infomercial). I also give really really incredible massages. So yeah, I can afford to be a little picky. So as that little infamous internet graphic says "Single, and you'll have to be amazing to change that".
             


Phloem bundles are the annoying stringy things you find when peeling a banana.